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When anyone asks me what a retreat in daily life is like, I say that the closest thing I can liken it to is as though you and God were in therapy together. You might be in a good place, a dry place or on the brink of divorce, but the questions, guidance and leading of your prayer guide opens the lines of communication between you and God unlike any other time.

You might just say ‘we can just talk it out on our own, why do we need this?’ but having a space where someone can help you reframe/see something from God’s perspective is honestly the mostly helpful thing in the world. As a human I will instinctively see/ think/ feel from my perspective, which can limit my relationship with God as I will infer my thoughts/ opinions/desires on His actions/ words. Whereas contemplative prayer really allows me to walk alongside God and to see Him and life through His eyes.

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This retreat, I found that many of the things I’d struggled with dissipated when I approached them with God. My loss, my pain, my shame, my embarrassment, my doubts, confusion, and my fears – all of them crowded my heart and mind, because I didn’t feel like His child. There was a barrier between us caused by life experiences and poor theology – all of which made me feel I was not wanted or loved by Him and that His love needed to be earned (and was evidenced by His material blessings).

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Through this time of prayer, I got to see the Father that Jesus knew. He was fun and funny, He was caring, He was generous. He was so kind, and He cared; and in the grand scheme of life and eternity, our little problems are essentially insignificant, but He STILL cares about that too – because if they matter to us, then they also matter to God.

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Whether that’s reassuring the woman with the issue of blood (Matthew 9: 20-22; Mark 5: 25-34 and Luke 8: 43-48) that her healing was a gift given not stolen, giving wine at a wedding so a bride and groom wouldn’t be shamed in front of their community (John 2: 1-11), rescuing Zacchaeus from his embarrassment of being found in the tree (Luke 10: 1-10), or restoring the disciples from their grief by having breakfast on the shore (John 21: 1-14) – He cares about us in all our significance. His love for us is true.

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Mulkina Mackay was a participant in one of our Retreats in Daily Life in Luton coordinated by Stephen Hoyland. She is the Office Manager at Youthscape, a Christian charity.

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Find out more about Retreats in Daily Life >>

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Experience guided Imaginative Contemplation live on Zoom every first Wednesday of the month at 8pm (UK time).